Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
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I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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