all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize