okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
