The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
His hands were made for my vagina.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Houston, we have a squirter
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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