if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
