I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
