just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Randomize
