the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
