Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
