We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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