This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
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