# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
