Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
