Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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