Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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