Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
