he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize