Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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