SEEEEXXX PLEASE
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize