I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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