all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
