I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
