we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
He felt like a one man threesome
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
