We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize