did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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