PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
