yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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