I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
