she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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