I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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