I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
