from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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