He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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