she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
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