I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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