I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
