Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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