Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Even my vagina gasped.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
