Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
BRING THE BAGELS
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize