Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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