i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
