Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
