i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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