i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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