They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
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