so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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