Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
