At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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