well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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