I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
