your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
