How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
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