doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
