I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
