Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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