The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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