i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I have tasted many bathrooms
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
