I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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