You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize