we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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