ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
